Give me chicken strips or give me death…

You are reading the words of a woman on the edge.  At the end of her rope.  A woman in desperation.  What’s the problem you ask?  I’m hungry.  I mean REALLY hungry!  And that always leads to A) getting in the car and heading to a nearby fast food restaurant for instant gratification or B) sitting under a pile of cookbooks, trying to narrow down from 312 recipes that all sound AMAZING at the time.  Today was a “B” kind of day.

So there I was at 9:30 AM, coffee in hand to tide me over, Ree and Alton books on one side, several issues of Food Network Magazine on the other.  So many choices!!  But I had a taste fixed in my mind… I wanted CHICKEN STRIPS! Yes.  For breakfast.  I was inspired by the fact that I am up to recipes #97-98, veggie dips!  I made Chipotle Dip a couple days ago for a get-together, and the Honey Mustard recipe in Ree’s Dinnertime book made me immediately think of chicken strips.  Problem: there is no recipe for chicken strips in that cookbook.  What a let-down.  But hooray!  My sister-in-law got me the newest Ree cookbook (Come and Get it) for Christmas, and lo and behold there it was… Cap’n Crunch Chicken Tenders!  But first… the Honey Mustard…

I love recipes that are just “put this, this and this in a bowl.  Mix it up.”  Both of these dips were just that!  But dang, talk about yummy.  I never in a million years would have thought honey mustard would contain mayonnaise.  Or paprika.  Guess that’s why I’m not writing the cookbooks!  When a recipe is so simple, I usually like to use “the good stuff”.  I have several ingredients that I am very protective of, and they are not to be used by ANYONE else.  My honey is from my friend Ian Frazier in Alaska who sent me a few jars from his own apiary (that’s a bunch of beehives for anyone not up on bee-speak!) and you can practically smell the flowers they harvested nectar from; hit him up if you need honey, I think he still has some for sale!  I bought my Hungarian sweet paprika in actual Hungary.  Budapest to be exact.  I do not just dump that on top of Tuna Helper!  I went the cheap route on my paprika this time because I went fancy on the honey, but next batch I’m using the Gold Standard seasoning!  My mustard was just plain old French’s yellow, because I was polishing off the last of the bottle.  You know what?  DELICIOUS.  I mixed this up a few hours before finally scratching my chicken itch, so the flavors got to meld nicely.

Now for the star: Cap’n Crunch Chicken Tenders.  Sounds weird, I know.  I ran to the store and grabbed all I needed, luckily just the chicken strips and the cereal.  Cap’n Crunch was on sale, which I took as a sign from God that I was meant to make this dish today.  First job was just to make a dredging station of seasoned flour, whipped eggs, and the crushed Cap’n Crunch.  A new use for my meat tenderizer!  Then all I had to do was throw it in the cast iron skillet in some vegetable oil.  I have very low confidence when it comes to pan-frying.  For whatever reason I have the worst luck with temperature control.  I detest “bacon kisses”.  Basically frying scares me!  Still, it had to be done.  I followed the directions to a tee on the first batch…always the first mistake…and it resulted in what I will lovingly call “blackened” chicken strips.  Three minutes each side on medium heat, my a$$!  Second batch, I ignored the directions and went with my own nose and eyes.  Heat down to mid-low, two minutes per side.  I could still feel that the chicken was firm and knew it was cooked through, and the color was much more agreeable.  End result was absolutely delicious.  Like “better than going to Culver’s” good.  That’s saying something!  And that honey mustard recipe?  Total keeper.  It was supposed to be a veggie dip, but I am probably going to use it exclusively on chicken from here to eternity…