Have Book, Will Cook

Tonight was one of those evenings where I was utterly devoid of the energy to cook.  Or clean up.  Or put on pants.  However, I managed to do two out of three!  Anyone’s guess about which two…

To be fair it’s been a heck of a weekend, working both days and not really having a lot of spare time.  I had almost resigned myself to a meal of picked-over fridge leftovers and ice cream out of the container, but then I flipped on one of my Pioneer Woman DVR recordings and inspiration struck!  The episode was “Happy Birthday to Me”, and Ree Drummond was making herself a lighter celebratory meal.  Normally I hear “light cooking” and want no part of it, but I also heard the words “garlic” and “fries”, and my ears perked right up.  And thus, a side dish was born.  My original plan for leftovers (more of the delicious roast from the French dips) was still in place, but now I could pair it with something more interesting than a baked potato.  The recipe was so simple I can wrap it up in two sentences: slice up some potato wedges; pour on some oil, salt, pepper, chili powder, and grated garlic.  Then you just mix it up and bake at 450 degrees for 35 minutes.  The end.  This was considered “light” since they are baked fries instead of deep fried, but I don’t hold that against them…

Unfortunately, my challenge was to focus on cooking my way through this cookbook, and that meant searching the fridge for anything else I could cook that didn’t require leaving the house to go to the store… or wearing pants.  It was a theme tonight!  Recipe #96 ended up being Spicy Cauliflower Stir-Fry.  There is something to be said for a recipe that can be prepared with on-hand supplies, and truth be told, that’s probably the highest praise I can offer this one.  I’m not a huge fan of stir-fry.  I’m not super stoked about Sriracha and soy sauce.  Boy, I sound like a picky little cuss, don’t I??  I’m really not!  I swear!  And you know what?  This one was… meh.  The thing is, I really LOVE cauliflower.  I eat it raw with veggie dips; I eat it steamed with butter; I eat it creamed into that amazing soup from last week…  I eat it in a box, with a fox…  You get the idea.  If YOU like stir-fry, or if you like spicy food, this may be a winner for you.  For me it was just sort of…you know…cauliflower.  If nothing else, it gives me a new way to prepare an old standby vegetable.

In the interest of fairness (because maybe my taste buds are just too tired… or maybe this is just too healthy!) I read some reviews on this recipe, and it was a pretty even split down the middle of people who RAVED about it (probably vegetarians!) and folks who were less than thrilled.  However, I saw a few ideas that could kick this up a notch: try using Thai sweet chili sauce instead of Sriracha; add peas or carrots; add BACON and maybe a little cheese… that one was my idea!  If you want to take a whack at this dish, check it out here: http://www.foodnetwork.com/recipes/ree-drummond/spicy-cauliflower-stir-fry-2684044.html

But whatever you do…  MAKE THESE FRIES!!

 

 

Hot sandwiches are kind of yucky.  That is my informed, expert, technical opinion.  There are noted exceptions, such as grilled cheese and… and…  ok, so that’s about it!  I just don’t like them in general, but I DO love roast beef!  A French Dip bridges these opposing forces nicely, and this one was better than I’ve had at any ol’ sandwich shop.  Quiznos, shwiznos…  Allow me to walk you through the creation of this beef-tastic sammy.

0830:  Drink a cup of coffee, perusing my trusty Ree Drummond cookbook.  I’m looking for something that requires more time and effort than I typically expend on a work night.  This is my day off!

0835:  Decide on Recipe #95: French Dip Sandwiches, and gather my mise en place.  (I love the snobby, Food Network term that just means “gather all my crap together”!)  This includes all the dry seasonings for a rub, minus the dried thyme (a recent victim of the spice cabinet purge) but replaced with ground marjoram, because it seemed like a good idea at the time.

0900:  I get to use the “Roast” function on my oven for the very first time!  I didn’t even know that button was there.  This is very exciting!  Set it to 475 (yes, you read that correctly) and throw the boneless beef loin coated in spices into the hot box.  In theory, it will hang out here for 25 minutes.

0910:  Mix up a batch of my mama’s seasoning, because if this roast comes out like I think it will, I’m gonna need to try her special blend on the next one!

Here’s how to make it: pour equal parts granulated garlic, onion powder, black pepper and Lawry’s Season Salt onto a piece of wax paper, then play with it like a sand-art project until well-blended.  Yeah, you could just pour it all into a jar and mix it up, but where is the fun in that??

0913:  Thinly slice onions and combine all liquid ingredients while dodging adorable kitten attempting to trip me.

0925:  Check on roast, which supposedly should have reached 125 degrees internally at the 25 minute mark.  THIS IS A LIE.  It’s only 71.

0926:  Smoke alarm goes off!  Note to self: turn on the exhaust fan and the ceiling fan, AND open a couple windows when using the “Roast” function!!

0945:  We’re up to 112 degrees!  Still inedible even by my rare-beef standards.

0953:  FINALLY!  Handy in-oven thermometer reaches the temp I need, and the roast comes out.  Meat goes onto a serving platter to rest while I use the roasting pan to sauté all the onions and garlic I previously sliced.  P.S., I only used one onion because mine are larger than a league-standard softball.  The recipe called for two.  Overkill.

1010:  Add all the liquids (beef consommé, beef broth, Worcestershire sauce, and soy sauce) and simmer for 45 minutes to reduce and intensify flavors.  I should note here that my sautéed onions looked NOTHING like the picture in the cookbook…  I had a fair amount of dry rub that fell off the roast to the bottom of the pan, and in her picture, it looked like Ree had swapped out her cooking pan for a clean one.  I figured all those extra seasonings on the onions could only improve things, but it did kinda look like I had spilled coffee grounds in the pan when I stirred it all up.  I also tasted the jus halfway through the simmering time and decided it was too salty, so I dumped in more beef broth to tone it down.

1115:  Timer goes off!  I’m starving.  But I still have to strain the onions out of the jus, toast my hoagie roll (this was a step I decided to add), and mix up a little “horsey sauce” from a store-bought cream and some chunky creamed horseradish.  This is another addition I decided the French Dip needed, because beef and horseradish go together like peanut butter and jelly!  But that’s gross on roast beef…

1119–1137:  Chew, mmm, wipe away horseradish-induced tears, moan in culinary delight, mmmmmm, chew, repeat… (Be sure to serve with a side of dental floss!)

Final review:  DEEEE. LISH. US!! The jus was perfect, the sautéed onions were sweet and caramelized, and the horsey sauce was a welcome added flavor.  The recipe link below is from the Food Network website and is exactly what came out of the cookbook, except she lists provolone cheese as an optional ingredient.  Maybe next time!

http://www.foodnetwork.com/recipes/ree-drummond/drippy-french-dip-sandwiches-recipe-2079725.html

 

Picture it…  Safeway.  A Tuesday night.  The menu: Chicken Caesar Salad.  You know what I went in for?  LETTUCE.  I went in for lettuce.  An hour and $100 later, this is what I came out with…

LETTUCE, people!!  But this happens to me every time.  I suddenly remember 27 things for my grocery list that I “meant” to add, and I just didn’t know it until I saw the stuff on the shelves!  And then my five minute, $2 shopping trip turns into this debacle.  The grocery store time-warp/expanding list phenomenon will be fodder for a later blog…  But hey, I got some great staples and ingredients that will be going in a near-future Ree recipe!

I digress…  I needed lettuce so I could create recipe #94: Chicken Caesar Salad, which completed the longest chapter in Dinnertime, “Freezer Food”.  Not gonna lie…  Wasn’t thrilled about making this.  Chicken, YAAY!  Salad, YAAY!!  Caesar… BOOOOO…  I have never liked Caesar dressing, and this one featured another ingredient I am not very familiar with, anchovy fillets.  I once heard Rachael Ray say on her cooking show, “If you think you don’t like anchovies, you’re wrong!”  With that advice in mind, I used anchovy paste in some recipes previously, because basically it’s just a seafood-y salt.  These full fillets were about to be liquefied in a blender, so it was about the same thing.  Long story short, this recipe is crazy-easy, especially as you can do most of it ahead of time.  I sautéed my chicken breast a day or two ago, and the dressing could also be prepared several days in advance.

http://www.foodnetwork.com/recipes/ree-drummond/chicken-kale-caesar-salad-3365331.html

Oh!  Did I mention the croutons??  Those ain’t from a bag, baby!  I bought some bread off the “reduced for quick sale” rack since it’s already a little old, and fresh bread makes lousy croutons!  A little homemade garlic oil (crushed some cloves into olive oil, heated for a couple minutes, then strained the garlic bits out to leave the deliciousness) drizzled over the top, and an hour in a 200 degree oven.  Ta da!  Perfect croutons.  The dressing was as simple as throwing everything into the blender and whirring it up until it’s all incorporated.  I made a slight miscalculation with the dressing because I ALWAYS add more garlic than the recipe calls for; “less is more” is not a rule I live by when it comes to garlic.  I should have listened to Ree this time; I was still tasting raw garlic this morning, and the salad tasted REALLY spicy.  Lesson learned…  On the bright side, not one vampire approached me today!

In the end, I didn’t love this because I don’t care for what it IS, but at least I learned how to do it.  If this kind of thing is your bag, then I’d recommend the recipe!  Just be sure to put your blinders on at Safeway, or this salad is gonna cost you a hundred bucks…

This… ^^^  This right here.  The substance that gives me the heebie-jeebies like no other!  Yes, yes, I know it practically makes me un-American, but I cannot STAND Velveeta!!  The mere concept of this “cheese product” is offensive to my little foodie soul.  Don’t get me wrong; I LOOOVVE high-end, gourmet grub, but I am not a complete food snob.  I am the proud owner of a half-dozen cans of Spaghettio’s with Meatballs.  Kraft Macaroni and Cheese out of the 50 cent box is the bomb!  If someone lays a hand on my Cocoa Krispies, that someone is losing a finger…  But aside from these weird aberrations, I much prefer REAL food.

So imagine my horror when I decided to serve “Broccoli with Cheese Sauce” with my New Year’s Eve prime rib dinner and I stumbled upon this dreaded ingredient.  I kid you not, I didn’t even know where you look for it in the grocery store!  Was it with the gourmet cheese in the deli?  Surely not.  How about with the crappy cheese by the cold cuts, like the American slices which melt so beautifully on a grilled cheese sandwich?  Not there either.  Maybe with the plasticware and Saran Wrap??  Velveeta is only a couple molecules away from plastic, right??  Heck, it wasn’t even with the Squeeze Cheez in a can…  I was too embarrassed to ask someone to help me find it.  I finally located it on a random end-cap, and reluctantly added it to my cart, covering the box up with fresh arugula and organic Swiss chard to hide my shame…  Fast forward to New Year’s Eve when I was preparing dinner for my family and guests.  (On a side note, I’d like to mention that I somehow managed to get confused about what night they were invited, and accidentally cooked dinner a whole day early… Sorry about that, Garcias!)  Anyway, Recipe #93 was not terribly complicated.  Steam the broccoli and set aside; mix the cheese (some REAL stuff!) and the abomination… ahem… Velveeta with some seasonings over heat until fully melted.  That’s it.  I’d like to point out that shelf-stable “cheese” glopping out of its box and quivering in a cube like Cheeto-colored Jell-O was more unnerving than almost anything I’ve done in the kitchen.  I have deboned and butchered a whole duck.  Spatchcocked a chicken.  De-pooped pounds of shrimp.  THIS was grosser.  But you know what?  Those Velveeta people and Ree Drummond apparently know how to make a pretty darn tasty cheese sauce!

http://www.foodnetwork.com/recipes/ree-drummond/blanched-broccoli-and-cheese-dipping-sauce-recipe-3381442.html

** Please note the recipe referenced in this link is a variation by Ree which calls for cream cheese instead of Velveeta, but otherwise identical… Tasty or not, next time I’m trying this version!

So… I have a little problem.  I can’t stop buying spices.  I have sweet.  I have peppery.  I have salty.  I have herby.  Dozens and dozens of containers of them!  I even have a large variety of oils and vinegars.  Does anyone REALLY need nine types of oil and eight separate vinegars??  Canola, peanut, and vegetable, naturally, but also orange blossom or white truffle flavored, and grapeseed or avocado oil.  And you NEED white vinegar, red wine and balsamic, but I up the ante with mirin, pomegranate and champagne vinegar.  I’m not alone, right??  Anyone…?  No?  Ok, so it’s too much.  The problem is I just keep buying more! Like within the past 48 hours…  I walk into a spice store and I go into a fugue state, and have no control over my purchases!

 

Fast forward to 2018; New Year’s Day, new beginnings!  It’s time to go through the ol’ spice cabinet(s).  Fun fact: did you know you are only supposed to keep ground spices for about 6 months for optimum flavor??  No more than two years max, according to Food Network Magazine, and no more than four years for whole, unground spices.  Kinda makes that Sam’s Club quart of dried rosemary a bad bet…  So today is the one day of the year when I have to put my obsession on the shelf, so to speak, while at the same time taking my precious herbs off the shelf…  It’s purge day!  Anything past the recommended dates has to go, to make room for fresh and new flavors.  There is a certain amount of fear and excitement I always associate with trying a new spice.  Yeah… I need to get out more!  What if it’s too spicy?  Too salty??  WHAT IF I RUIN A PERFECTLY GOOD STEAK BY TRYING SOMETHING BESIDES MY MOM’S SPECIAL BLEND??  Family secret: it’s just equal parts garlic powder, granulated onion, Lawry’s Season Salt, and black pepper mixed together, but it’s flipping flawless and tastes amazing on everything…  EVERYTHING.  I make it in bulk.

Alas, today I say goodbye to my old friend homemade BBQ rub (made approximately 5 years ago), and my pal cinnamon-sticks-bottled-in-the-wrong-container.  You expired in 2011, and I really only bought you because I thought you were funny…  Did the good people at Morton & Bassett TRULY not know the difference between whole cinnamon and star anise??  How does a mistake like that even happen?!  Made me giggle every time I looked at the bottle…  But I am intent on making the culinary adventure this year be as flavorful and delicious as possible, and that just can’t happen if I use second-string spices.  I am sincerely hoping that some of you might be inspired this year and make a few of the recipes I will be posting.  If that’s the case, I would encourage you… if you have nothing better to do today, and believe me when I say, I literally have nothing better to do… to take a few minutes to clear out the old and make way for the new in your own spice cabinet!  I’m sure it will take you a fraction of the time it’s going to take me, and you might just discover a bottle of oregano from the early 2000s…  Time to let it go!