Epic Failures, Epic Successes

As you near the end of cooking through an entire cookbook, you are destined to encounter a few recipes that just aren’t going to be your favorites. Honestly, why else would they be pushed to the end of the project? Conversely, this is also where you can run into some of the tastiest surprises! Such is true for Magnolia Table, where I have a mere THREE more recipes to try out before I mark this journey complete. Whether it was due to a hard-to-find ingredient or a complete lack of enthusiasm for the recipe, there are a few that will never again see the light of day in my kitchen, and some that fought through uncertainty to become revelatory hits! Let’s start with a positive, shall we?

The concept behind #138 Broiled Honey-Thyme Peaches just didn’t appeal to me. Call me crazy, but I wasn’t really interested in hot peaches in the summer. Yes, that includes a low opinion of such things as peach pie and peach cobbler too. Several times I bought peaches, intending to get this over with. It’s a popular crop in Colorado, though the orchards faced a stunted growing season, because, 2020… Since they were harder to come by, I always chickened out at the last minute and opted not to “ruin” my peaches by cooking them. I considered using some frozen holdovers from last summer, but had a bad feeling about their ability to caramelize due to the high water content. When I finally took the plunge, I opted for a chokecherry-flavored honey, pear-flavored balsamic vinegar (instead of aged, reduced balsamic), matcha ice cream (instead of vanilla) and fresh thyme plucked from my garden. Technically it was still the same recipe, right?? I’m pleased to report that the fresh peach juice and butter formed a sweet, syrupy crust under a carefully watched broiler, and the fruit retained a lot of its firm texture. Somehow matcha married with these flavors beautifully, and a new favorite dessert (or breakfast) emerged!

Another surprise? Peaches and mozzarella plus fresh basil is a REVELATION. Whodathunk? Apparently Jo, because #127 Peach Caprese was one of her highly recommended summer salads. Again, I opted for a fruit-flavored balsamic vinegar instead of aged balsamic to drizzle over the top of this simple dish, and I think it would have been delicious with no dressing at all. This will be on the menu early in peach-season next year!

From unexpected highs, sadly we must descend into unfortunate lows. I consider myself a pretty accomplished cook, what with literally thousands of recipes under my belt by now, but I have to admit, I’m still learning. Disastrous recipe #129 Grilled Havarti, Tomato & Basil Sandwiches taught me a few things all by itself: 1. Grilled cheese really doesn’t require too much tinkering; leave it alone already! 2. If the recipe calls for French bread, it probably won’t do to use potato bread. 3. Mayonnaise and Miracle Whip are NOT created equal! Ok, so that last one I already knew from a purely flavor-related standpoint, but come to find out, Miracle Whip absolutely does not react well to being heated! I have taken Jo’s advice to used mayonnaise instead of butter on other grilled sandwiches and was pleased to find the result was crispy, crunchy, and delicious. On the fateful day I tried this recipe, I had zero intention of going to store, even after realizing I was out of mayo. Darn it, I had fresh basil and tomatoes from the garden, what I thought was a suitable substitute for French bread, and I’d finally bought the Havarti needed for this sandwich. Normally I wouldn’t have Miracle Whip on hand either, but there is a singular use I wanted it for (a tuna pasta salad that is out of this world – no, really!) and I figured “it’s close enough”, right? WRONG. What started out beautifully ended tragically.

I was prematurely excited about how tasty the combination appeared when I laid out the raw ingredients, but I quickly learned that potato bread was far too absorbent and soft to stand up to the moisture released by the veggies. And that Miracle Whip? It doesn’t “brown” so much as “blacken”.

After only a minute or less, the soggy bottom was already charred-looking, while the inside had barely begun to melt. The bread basically disintegrated, but with frequent flipping, I was able to achieve some semblance of grilled-ness. I could only choke down about half of the sloppy mess, which at least did not taste as burned as it looked. Still, it was a disappointment and moves this recipe solidly to the bottom of my list.

Another “thanks, but no thanks” recipe was #139 Toasted Pepitas. I’ll admit, I was a little prejudiced against pumpkin seeds to begin with, as I’ve had them a couple times before and was never impressed. Also, it is near impossible to find UNROASTED pepitas in the grocery store to begin with! I found plenty of varieties which were already cooked or processed in some way, but that would not have proven the effectiveness of the recipe. My solution? Grow my own pumpkins, of course! I’m nothing if not committed.

The garden came through for me once again with this sugar pumpkin, which not only will yield me some muffins this week, but also the requisite raw seeds. I dutifully harvested, washed, dried, seasoned and toasted the pepitas according to directions, but I didn’t find that they added anything to the sweet potato and parsnip soup I sprinkled them on. They never got crunchy, and retained a chewiness that was off-putting. To give them a fair shake, I decided to dump the seeds onto a baking sheet and give them a longer roast under a 425 degree burner. This sufficiently dried them out and gave them a better texture, but the fact is I just don’t think they taste that great! I relegate this recipe to the “we don’t need to do that again” file.

No one likes to end on a sour note, so instead let’s do it on an unexpectedly sweet one! I had every intention of hating this recipe on sight, and planned to let everyone else eat all but one bite of it. What is this dish that I avoided until the bumper crop in my back yard made it unavoidable?

# 133 Jalapeño Drip Jam. That is just… pardon the pun, “not my jam”! Alas, so many jalapeños grew on my solitary plant that I just had to get this recipe out of the way. I happened to have a birthday party I could bring this to at a house full of spice-lovers, and I was relatively certain others would enjoy it. What shocked me is that I also wanted more than one taste! I sliced up a dozen peppers and some white onion, added a copious amount of brown sugar along with some stone-ground mustard, and let the slow simmer do the rest. I served the not-terribly-attractive mixture over a block of cream cheese with crackers, and voilà! A star was born! It may not have been pretty, but it was a pretty tasty appetizer!

PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT: If you grow your own peppers, wear some dang gloves when you slice! My fingers (and eyes!) throbbed for days after making that mistake!