This… ^^^ This right here. The substance that gives me the heebie-jeebies like no other! Yes, yes, I know it practically makes me un-American, but I cannot STAND Velveeta!! The mere concept of this “cheese product” is offensive to my little foodie soul. Don’t get me wrong; I LOOOVVE high-end, gourmet grub, but I am not a complete food snob. I am the proud owner of a half-dozen cans of Spaghettio’s with Meatballs. Kraft Macaroni and Cheese out of the 50 cent box is the bomb! If someone lays a hand on my Cocoa Krispies, that someone is losing a finger… But aside from these weird aberrations, I much prefer REAL food.
So imagine my horror when I decided to serve “Broccoli with Cheese Sauce” with my New Year’s Eve prime rib dinner and I stumbled upon this dreaded ingredient. I kid you not, I didn’t even know where you look for it in the grocery store! Was it with the gourmet cheese in the deli? Surely not. How about with the crappy cheese by the cold cuts, like the American slices which melt so beautifully on a grilled cheese sandwich? Not there either. Maybe with the plasticware and Saran Wrap?? Velveeta is only a couple molecules away from plastic, right?? 
Heck, it wasn’t even with the Squeeze Cheez in a can… I was too embarrassed to ask someone to help me find it. I finally located it on a random end-cap, and reluctantly added it to my cart, covering the box up with fresh arugula and organic Swiss chard to hide my shame… Fast forward to New Year’s Eve when I was preparing dinner for my family and guests. (On a side note, I’d like to mention that I somehow managed to get confused about what night they were invited, and accidentally cooked dinner a whole day early… Sorry about that, Garcias!) Anyway, Recipe #93 was not terribly complicated. Steam the broccoli and set aside; mix the cheese (some REAL stuff!) and the abomination… ahem… Velveeta with some seasonings over heat until fully melted. That’s it. I’d like to point out that shelf-stable “cheese” glopping out of its box and quivering in a cube like Cheeto-colored Jell-O was more unnerving than almost anything I’ve done in the kitchen. I have deboned and butchered a whole duck. Spatchcocked a chicken. De-pooped pounds of shrimp. THIS was grosser. But you know what? Those Velveeta people and Ree Drummond apparently know how to make a pretty darn tasty cheese sauce!
** Please note the recipe referenced in this link is a variation by Ree which calls for cream cheese instead of Velveeta, but otherwise identical… Tasty or not, next time I’m trying this version!
Have Book, Will Cook 